Merciful Father and his sons

Carlos rang the doorbell – he was on time for a change! I got to know Carlos years ago when he was a student in my abnormal psychology class which I taught at the local community college. We became good friends and met regularly over the years. Usually, we just talked about life in general, but lately he began to show interest in his spiritual life.

He began with a little hesitation in his voice which told me that he was struggling. He said: “You tell us that our life is to be centered on Jesus. That we should focus on Jesus and do everything for, with, and in Jesus. This is really a challenge. How can I be focused on Jesus and do my work in the office and really be attentive to my wife and our kids? Sometimes I get a little stressed out! I want to do the right thing and hope to be rewarded in heaven when my life here is finished. Sometimes I think that I am just spinning my wheels.”

I responded: “Relax and let me give you some ideas that I find helpful in my own life. In our Salesian spirituality, we have what we call the direction of intention. Throughout the day, as we begin or focus our attention on work or whatever activity that engages our attention we say: “Jesus, I give you this work. Please give we the grace to conduct myself during it in a manner most pleasing to you.”  I say this when I sit down in my prayer room for morning prayer, my afternoon holy hour and the like. But I also ask Jesus for his help when I get in the car to go shopping or whatever. I just talk to Jesus as I am talking with you now. Jesus is not only my Lord, He is also my friend. I ask my guardian angel to guide me and protect me especially when I am driving in the car. It will take time to remember to make this direction of intention, but eventually it becomes a habit. That is good. This is focusing and making Jesus the center of life.

Joan Chittister, OSB wrote in The Monastic Way: To be centered on God alone does not mean to have no interests but God. It means to realize that all other interests are meant to bring  us closer to God. They are not meant to take God’s place in our lives but enable God’s spirit to enhance the meaning of everything else. As you learn to center and focus on Jesus throughout the day and night, you will find peace. You will realize that you are not alone, Jesus is with you.

Now for your worry about doing the right thing and being rewarded with heaven. Jesus did say to his disciples and the crowds: I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mt. 5:20) During Lent, we are encouraged and trained to focus on repentance because we are sinners. We examine ourselves in prayer, acknowledging our faults. Then, we turn to fasting and charity with the hope that we find forgiveness and become righteous. We worry. Are we doing the right things?

Jesus told the story about the father and his two sons – the bad boy and the good boy. Both boys have problems. However, when we reflect on this story, we are encouraged to see ourselves in each – the bad boy, the good boy, and the father. The problem is that we tend to dwell on and see ourselves as the bad boy.”

Carlos said: “Now take a breath, Father Bill. I know that I am sometimes a bad boy. I think myself more bad than good because I have been smoking marijuana more regularly with my friends after work and on weekends. I think that I am becoming addicted – I am addicted!”

I said to Carlos: “You have a legitimate concern. However, Jesus’s story really is about the merciful and forgiving father. Both of his sons had sinned. The bad boy squandered his inheritance on prostitutes and a life of dissipation; the good boy was jealous of his brother and was angry when his father celebrated the bad boy’s return. Nevertheless, his father was so happy and rejoiced when his son returned home. He reminded his good boy to forgive his brother and be happy that his brother has come home. The point is that Jesus is telling us not to worry. God, our Father, rejoices and forgives us when we return to the Lord. So, rejoice and be joyful! God loves you. Focus and center on Jesus and you, too, will find happiness.”

Carlos said: “Thanks, I needed to hear this! I feel better.”